Sideburns are a girl's best friend

Tomorrow is a friends birthday and to celebrate I have purchased her trimmable Elvis sideburns! Nothing says hail to the king quite like emulating his most prominent facial feature, except perhaps going the route of the rhinestone encrusted jumpsuit. My best friend's father from elementary school was actually an amateur Elvis impersonator. I grew up thinking that it was completely normal for fully grown men to wear white polyester with enough bling to scare off even the local drag queens (who, it must be noted, were not too flamboyant in small town Minnesota). Maybe if I win the lotto I'll be able to buy a particularily lurid jumpsuit for her next big milestone birthday (that being the big 50, but that is four years away). Kitch = friendship and love. God bless the King!